I Sniffed the Glove (vs. Cyferdyne)

from Squid Icarus by The Gothsicles

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lyrics

Playing Sheffield’s Corporation
On stage set to thrill
With PCP Principle
And Cyferdyne on the bill
But the Cyfer guys needed
An olfactory lift
Went back into green room
To find out that the glove was sniffed

I sniffed the glove

We sing serious songs
About serious stuff
We're a serious band
Making jokes about spuff

We played with The Gothsicles
Down at corporation
They said that we could sniff the glove
So we did, no hesitation.

Soaking up the sweat of my industrial stank
With a scent to bowl you over like a dinosaur tank
Taking damage over time from the senses assailed
When poisonous vapors
From the glove are inhaled

It's so intoxicating
Drink it in like River Phoenix
We only wrote the last line
So that we could say the word “dicks”

And the stink doesn’t stop
With what I wear on my hand
Because I am known far and wide
Throughout the land
As a natural resource
Of critical mass
‘Cause I can power a city
With methane gas

I just need to quickly go to the toilet
Don't worry, I'll be back
Wait, what, we-we're on now?
UH! This is Cyferdyne and The Gothsicles!
DO IT! DO IT NOOOOOOW!!!!

You should have told me that it smelt so nasty
I sniffed so hard I need a rhinoplasty
You gave me all those drinks and then you took advantage
Teasing us with, that Chicago meat sandwich
Feeling violated, feeling totally used
With all the time we've spent a part, we've all got the blues
We think that you don't love us
We think that you don't care
We post your pics on Facebook and you don't even share

Gonna go back to England
And then I'm gonna getcha
Your vocals are like Hocico
Beat up by Ke$ha
Your rhyme is in the shell
Mine are totally ample
10 minutes left of Watchmen
That you didn't sample

Eye make-up, ties and suits
And album covers stolen from Crysis 2
Autotuned to insane level
Feel the burn, you dorks forever

You spit rhymes like Shakespeare
But a Shakespeare who likes toys
Is your sound original? Or a rip off Beastie Boys?
Too busy saving mermaids, or getting drunk cuts
You drop beats like a juggler, who totally sucks

You've got thick thumbs, like fat girls thighs
Nintendo masturbation will damage your eyes
We've run out of trash, ‘cause you’re such a nice guy
But F.Y.I. 8 Bit died.

Also, just for your information, we don't use auto-tune at all, so thank
you

I sniffed the glove and I liked it
The smell of your sweaty fingers

I sniffed the glove just to try it
And I think I just don't mind it
We're English for god’s sake!

credits

from Squid Icarus, released December 15, 2014

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The Gothsicles Knoxville, Tennessee

THE ELECTRIC CONCOCTION WHAT NOW HAILS FROM BOSTON

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